Shopaholic

At my university there is a general store which sells food and stationary and such in the building we call 'The Cheesegrater'. At this shop, there's a rather cute guy who is often serving when I go in. This isn't the guy I was discussing in my last post by the way (what does this say about me I wonder?) He complimented my boots yesterday (sensible fellow) and today he remembered me from the day before. Do I just come in too often or is he interested that I'm coming in? I'd like to say it's the second one but I feel that it is so egotistical of me...

I've been thinking about various things recently. When other people like someone, do they feel ready for a relationship with that person? When I like someone, often I can never imagine myself actually having a relationship with them, and because of that I never feel like I'd be 'ready' for a relationship. I've thought for ages that it must be me not being emotionally ready for a relationship or something, but I read something today which suggested that perhaps lots of people feel this way. So I'm asking, if there is actually anyone out there reading this, what do you think? Do you feel that way? Or do you think that if things are really meant to happen between you then you will feel ready when they do?

In other news, my best friend from uni is leaving tomorrow to go to Canada for 6 months. I'm super excited for her, because I was overseas for 6 months last year and I know what an amazing time she's going to have, but I'm also sad because I know I'm going to miss her. I've met some new people at uni this semester who are good fun to hang out with, but it's not the same as this friend who I've known for 4 years now. No matter, 6 months goes pretty fast and I know she's going to have an amazing adventure.

Is there a difference between having a crush and liking someone? Is it possible that whatever I've felt before has only been a crush and now I might actually like someone and that's why I don't feel the same as usual? I've just been thinking again about what I posted yesterday and it just doesn't seem right that I can think about him this often yet not like him. But I don't feel the same 'symptoms' I do as I have when I've 'liked' people before...is it because I don't actually like him (and maybe am just convincing myself that I do) or is it because it's more than a crush and I've never felt like this before? Sometimes I wish I could just ask my friends this, but it seems so embarassing to ask such obvious questions. There's also the issue that some of my friends decided after I first met him that I must 'clearly' be 'in love' with him simply because he was around my age and male and I went to such lengths to convince them that I actually wasn't! I don't particularly want to set myself up for a round of 'I told you so's'...

I have to stop being distracted by this and actually do some studying! Exams will get here sooner than I think and I'm still in holiday mode!

The Sims 2 lies

The Sims 2 lies. How you ask? According to The Sims 2, it isn't possible for only one Sim to consider the relationship a friendship, both the Sims must feel the same way. While I like this idea, it clearly isn't true in real life. You see so many times where one person considers the other a friend, while the other person may be merely putting up with that person.

Why am I considering this? Because I'm wondering if I'm in this position at the moment. There's this person that I'm slowly getting to know and I'm slowly starting to consider a friend. But I wonder if they feel the same way, if they think about me at all when I'm not around. I know I'm probably reading too much into what exists, so sometimes I wish it was as simple as The Sims - if I feel friendship I know they do too. But lifte isn't that easy I guess.

Added to this, I have an added complication which is most probably self-inflicted. I feel like I might be convincing myself that i like this guy. When I first met him I found him completely physically unattractive, like completely totally unattractive. But as I get to know him I'm slowly finding him more attractive but I'm not sure if I'm just convincing myself that I'm starting to find him attractive. It's just little things I'm starting to find attractive, like that he has a nice smile when he smiles fully and that he's got nice hands. Strange? Perhaps. I think of him often, just wondering how he is, but when I consider the possibility of anything further than friendship I just can't imagine it. Also, when I'm with him I don't feel like I usually do when I like someone, I usually feel nervous and uncomfortable. When I think about it logically, I know that I don't like him but sometimes I wonder why I think about him so often and wonder if I do like him and don't realise. Maybe I realise that if I let myself like him it will ruin what we have and just cause a mess, so I don't let myself. I do know that if I'm not careful I can fall into the trap of convincing myself I like him, but I won't let myself.

I won't let myself talk myself into liking him, I don't want to ruin the relationship we're developing. I just want to be friends (and I mean 2-way Sim-style friends, not 1-way confused friends!)

Problems with Post-It Notes

I bought some new Post-It notes today and already they are falling off. Why? Supposedly it is because they aren't designed to stick to computer monitors, just to paper. Well, maybe they should put that on the packaging so I don't spend my money on useless stickies. Although, it is also possible that they aren't sticking because I caved and bought the Officeworks brand ones instead of the Post-It brand...

This isn't your usual first post, is it? That's because I don't have any particular desire to impress you and prove to you how amazingly cool I am and therefore make you want to read my blog. I'm not going to tie my self-worth into how many people read my blog and what they think of it. This blog is simply for my own amusement.

This isn't to say, however, that I'm not going to tell you anything about myself. I'm a woman, an Australian, a student, a future lawyer, a musician and a pilot. I have a job with a Barrister in the city and like to fly twice a week when I can.

I'm keeping a blog of my flight training here.

This blog is going to be a random collection of things I see, things I find on the internet, things I'm learning and things I'm feeling. I hope that it will turn out to be at least remotely interesting!